We may not even realize we do it.

But we place conditions on so many things in life. On our pursuit to "success" (however we choose to define it) we may say things like, "When this happens I'll be able to x better."

I know for myself, I was using that a lot more in the earlier part of the year preparing for the weddings. I said, "When the wedding is behind us, I'll have more time for my pottery." And the truth is, I could have made time before the wedding if I wanted to.

We label our future success on a contingency. IF I can just get _____, then I'll be _____. Fill in the blank with whatever life-fulfilling prophecy you wish; happiness, successful, rich, grateful, etc, etc.

When we live our life with IF/WHEN contingencies we are missing opportunities in the NOW to find them. If we think more money will make us happier, we need to ask, why don't we find happiness now in the pursuit of more money? Or if after a particular event comes due, why are we escaping the moment we have currently?

IF/WHEN statements can be very revealing of our values. If we believe something better is behind the when, we give up the now. We don't usually form IF/WHEN statements in the reverse. But I feel those can be more beneficial. "IF I don't work out every day, my mobility will deteriorate, my flexibility will vanish and I will pretty much be in need of a wheel chair."

That might just be the motivation we need to get moving on the regular, and stay moving. Sometimes my mind likes to play with IF/WHEN statements on a long walk. I may find myself dreaming of a future moment or event, and make myself realize where I already have that covered. Consciously practicing gratitude on a daily basis, I do believe helps prevent these statements from taking over our reality too much.

With every new when, comes a new mission. A mission to find what we are after in the now. If you follow my blog, you know I recently purchased a 3D printer and need to learn CAD software to create my own designs. Leading up to this purchase was a nearly 2 year researching escapade of finding the perfect printer for my needs. I was saying, "IF I get a 3D printer, I'll be able to create my own designs in my pottery and print unique tools for my work."

This is true, but this may have also been what held my absence from clay during the preparations for the wedding and robbing me of time creating work in my studio. I had this idea that, even though a 3D printer was a 'nice to have' that I somehow needed it to be able to proceed with my artistic desires. And truth be told, I could have definitely created plenty of one-of-a-kind pieces off of what I currently have and found the time to fulfill my desire that I thought would magically come from my 3D printer.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I purchased it--it is way cool! But I definitely didn't need it to pursue my art in the moment. But somehow I envisioned my studio with a printer, where I could 'create' a custom design, send it to the printer while I rolled out a slab of clay, taken my new print item off of my printer and directly applied it to the piece I was making in the moment. The visions we have are so powerful to the progress we make.

I think it stemmed from being in my studio one time earlier (that lead to the start of my 3D printer research) and wanting a specific design or tool that I did not have that to me, would have been perfect for that piece right then and there. I do believe there is a moment when IF/WHEN statements become a reality, and it IS based on a want we have that we wish to be fulfilled.

When I visualized this playing out in my head, it seemed like such a great way to create with the inspiration and make cool designs in the moment. Only now in hindsight I see how much clearer the vision dictated my priority. I hear this a lot of times in martial arts, people express how they want to "lose 20 pounds" before they begin training. When, in fact, if they just begin training they would eventually lose the 20 pounds, and the lofty goal they put as a pre-condition to their training is actually inhibiting their start. But the IF/WHEN was already established and cemented, so they never begin... and before they know it, 20 pounds becomes 30.

I find that these IF/WHEN statements are pretty sneaky, though. A lot of times we don't even realize we are doing them, or we've created one. Like I said, they can sound a little different, but in reality we use these statements to control our space. When we set these declarations out into the world, we are either holding space on whatever it is "When I'm rich I will be happy" and delaying our happiness now, or we are keeping it from us by ignoring the current happiness we do experience. We may not even recognize it because we have a belief tied to a monetary figure that represents what 'genuine happiness' will look like. And I use money/happiness as a very general example that I feel most people can relate to, as it has been overused since people have started openly discussing capitalism and the American Dream. But as I expressed, we do it all the time with our intentions, and perhaps don't recognize it.

I'm about to take the dog for his walk and plan to reflect more on where else this happens in my life and see what I can do about it. When I catch them it's almost like winning the lottery! OHHH!!! There's one!!! Let me revisualize this and see where it takes me. It makes a fun little mental game, go ahead, try it. ;)